


Antediluvian Love

by amurderofmagpies



Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid, tgwdlm - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Medieval, M/M, it started with a random sketch and escalated, light fluff, mr davidson is there veeery briefly, teen for swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 13:26:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18447497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amurderofmagpies/pseuds/amurderofmagpies
Summary: Have you ever seen the movie “A Knights Tale”? It’s that, but a little different. This is also the first fic I’ve ever posted, so feedback is much appreciated! Enjoy!





	Antediluvian Love

**Author's Note:**

> As I said in the summary, this is the first piece of fan fiction I’ve had the guts to publish. I hope it satisfies your need for obscure au’s.  
> Special thanks to the wonderful Mia for beta-ing this chapter, and to the discord goblins for encouraging this incredibly niche fic. That’s all I got. Enjoy!

It was way too hot outside for this bullshit. Ted squirmed uncomfortably as he leaned against the fence that lined the arena. Sweat slicked his hair and bunched up his shirt, while the sun blistered his skin a painful shade of red. He watched apathetically as Sir Davidson and the other fucker's horses galloped in a cloud of dust, their riders' armor flashing. There was a great crack sound and Sir Davidson was flung from his horse, yet again. 

"At least we can leave now." Paul, the other squire, sighed. Almost drowned out by the sound of the cheering crowd. Together, they straddled the sun bleached fence and jogged out into the arena. Paul went to calm Sir Davidson's steed, Valentine, while Ted gathered the shiny lump of armor from the ground. His palms slipped over his Lord's armor and left streaks of moisture. His fingers dug themselves into cloth joints and curled under buckles, while Ted grunted, heaved the man onto his shoulder, and staggered out of the arena. Sweat beaded uncomfortably on his forehead and neck, which he wiped away with an equally sweaty wrist and accomplished nothing but slathering more sweat on his face.  
He licked the dust off of his lips with a quick dart of his tongue and then grumbled through a clenched jaw, "You are way heavier than normal."

The unconscious knight gave no reply. Ted shuffled on with trembling legs until he reached the small tent pitched a few yards away and let Davidson clatter to the ground next to the hitching post.

"Honestly, you've got to be the worst jouster in all of England." Ted huffed to himself as he took a pewter bowl from a burlap sack. He dipped it in the horse's water trough and promptly dumped its contents on Sir Davidson's head, who remained motionless.

"Uh..." Ted knocked on the man's helmet a few times, receiving a metallic thud for each, "Sir Davidson?

He paused for a response. The knight remained utterly still. Are you fucking kidding me? Ted thought incredulously and pulled Davidson's helmet off. The man's eyes were half open, similarly to his mouth, and glazed over. Ted swallowed his rising panic and, instead of having a nervous break, used it to violently shake Davidson. Nothing.

"Oh, great— great! Awesome. He's dead. Cool. Fantastic." He babbled to himself. Just then, as if on cue, Paul approached the modest campsite with Valentine in tow.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah, Paul. Everything's peachy keen, expect for Davidson is fucking dead!" Ted shouted and gestured wildly at the slumped over corpse. Paul let go of Valentine's reins and rushed over to inspect his now dead employer. After smacking Davidson's face a few times and wiping the sweat from his eyes, Paul groaned into his hands.

    "God damn it, we're so screwed."

"Oh, you're tellin' me!" Ted chuckled bitterly and gave the knight's shoulder one last shove before he fell back onto his heels.

    "Where's Bill?" Paul asked as he pushed himself to his feet.

  "He went into town to get food, or whatever." Ted mumbled and shot the corpse a look of disgust, "Can we move him, at least?"

    "If you're volunteering to dig a grave, then by all means." Paul sighed and tied Valentine to the hitching post, who was blissfully unaware of his newfound unemployment because he was a horse.

    "Christ, just get Bill's ass back here. I'll deal with it." Ted snapped. Paul gave an exaggerated thumbs up before returning to a despair filled expression and starting towards the main road.

 

It was well into the afternoon, and Ted was about four feet deep into the hole he was currently digging, when Paul returned with Bill, who unsurprisingly went into a full blown panic. Not that Ted could blame him, the man had a daughter after all, and none of them had any real skills aside from lugging around Sir Davidson's stuff from town to town.

     "What are we going to do?!" Bill wailed and Ted rolled his eyes so hard it hurt.

  "Starve, probably! What do you want me to say?" He demanded and Paul held his hands out like he was a lion tamer. Always the peacekeeper.

    "We aren't going to starve," Paul glared at Ted, then said more gently to Bill, "and Alice is going to be fine." He pinched the bridge of his nose and looked up at the sky in a silent plea for some divine intervention. "We'll figure something out, I'm sure." There was a long, suffering pause between the three men that was interrupted by Ted snapping his fingers in epiphany.

       "One of us could pretend to be Sir Davidson?"

   "That is literally the stupidest thing I've heard you say in the past seven years." Paul said without a hint of sarcasm.

     "It could work!" Ted protested and hopped out of the hole, using the shovel for leverage, "I mean, he sucked at jousting anyway, so it doesn't matter if we lose the first couple matches."

    "Alright, fine," Paul drew a deep breath and glanced at Bill for help, who shrugged, "Say we do that, who's going to joust?" Ted actually appeared thoughtful for a moment.

    "I mean... I could do it?"

                 "No."

**Author's Note:**

> If you’ve ever seen the movie you know exactly where this is going lmao. I’ll try to update this regularly but it’s most likely going to sporadic. I hope you like it so far! :D


End file.
